I learned a lot from Period 1. You can read about it here. However, it took leaving Period 1 behind to realize what I needed: the race gear, edge, fire, or whatever you want to call it. I discovered this in the States for US Nationals in Houghton, MI. Landing back in the States was an emotional rollercoaster and dynamic duality. Sad while relieved, bummed yet excited, frustrated yet motivated. It feels like, "okay, we're sent home - how will we react to that? There are two options: 1. Feel bummed you couldn't hang in the big leagues, so now you're sent home. 2. Recognize that there's a lot of opportunity for growth and reassessment. Sometimes you need to be a big fish in a little pond. And with that, I chose growth, with some sadness, for sure.
If you know me, you know I'm quite competitive. My parents love to remind me that I would ask them to time me to do everything as a child. Including how fast I could get dressed/ready. I'm a board games feen, especially Settlers of Catan and Bananagrams. As I've aged, I've grown to turn my competitiveness on and off (thank goodness). However, I have an innately competitive spirit. Where was that during Period 1? Honestly, I don't know. I felt like I was racing with no fire, no spice, just in survival mode. I was nervous, scared, and I lacked belief in myself. I had the "do as best as you can" mentality, for better or worse (this is a coping mechanism for fear of failure). A switch flipped the morning of the skate sprint at US Nationals in Houghton. I read an interview with Rosie Brennan that morning. In this interview, Rosie said something along the lines of, "I thought to myself I can do so why don't I" after having a successful Tour De Ski stage. Combined with a pep-talk from Pat O'Brien, I thought, well, I should probably think like that too. I had a race plan I felt confident in, and I went and executed it. I was racing. I won the qualifier, and I proved to myself that I can. I ended up 3rd through heats, which keeps you hungry for more, something I needed. I forget how good it feels to ski confidently. Those are the feelings that get me to the start line; my competitive fire was lit. I got sent back over to Europe based on winning the qualifier in Houghton, and I thought we should probably 'keep these good vibes going' and believe in myself at the World Cup too. I took that belief in myself to Period 3 of the World Cup. I woke up the morning of the Livigno sprint and told myself the same thing: "Today is the day, Lauren Jortberg, that you are going to make World Cup heats." And I did. Manifesting?? My first time making heats on the World Cup, and it was easily the most incredible day of my life. I qualified 24th that day and picked heat 1; knowing that heat 1 is usually the fastest, I wanted to see if I could hang. I skied an almost perfect quarterfinal, almost making it to the semifinals. I imploded just before the line and quickly went from fourth to sixth. Although it's a bummer to move from 24th to 29th on the day, the day was a turning point in my ski career. The belief in myself that I can and, more importantly, that I will. But, I have to believe in myself. Although I hate to sound like a quote on the wall of your grandmother's bathroom, the power of belief is truly incredible. There's a balance between being kind to yourself and believing that you can do hard things. Unfortunately, I don't have an answer to how to manage this balance other than recognizing that it's okay to "fail" but more on that later.
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Lauren JortbergFollow along for updates about ski training, traveling the world, and the ups-and-downs of being a professional athlete. Archives
May 2023
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